What is Biblical Counseling? Why am I writing this post?

I think some of us have missed the mark when it comes to Biblical Counseling. If you are a Christian, you are a Biblical Counselor. Essentially, Biblical Counseling is discipleship. You can do that informally or formally within the context of the local church. But we all disciple and need to be equipped. In a general sense, the goal of Biblical counseling is to help someone fulfill the commands of the Bible to be sanctified and pursue the means of sanctification- The Word, Fellowship, Prayer, Obedience, Providence.

How have we missed the mark?

Biblical Counseling doesn’t start with us trying to fix someone and their problems. Biblical Counseling starts with us and a humble mindset. We need to be self-reflective and think through the goals, assumptions, attitude, data gathering, and presentation of information.

Goals

The goals of Biblical Counseling is to help the counselee become more like Christ. Being in the Word, Fellowship, and prayer are not optional. Philippians 2:4- Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also the interest of others. It is in the best interest of the counselee to be pursuing the means of sanctification. In fact, scripture commands us to be holy like God is holy (1 Peter 1:15-16). We are commanded to live in such a way that our lifestyle is marked by obedience. We live out our identity in Christ as believers. Ephesians 4:1- “Walk worthy of the calling with which you have been called.” When you counsel others, are you encouraging the means of sanctification in that individual’s life?

Be in The Word

Proverbs 4:5- “Get Wisdom; get insight; do not forget and do not turn away from the word of my mouth.” For more about being in the Word, see my other blog post- https://forhisglory.net/2022/12/25/where-is-your-treasure/

Fellowship and Community

As believers, we need each other. There is no such thing as an isolated Christian. We fall, miss the mark, and need each other to hit the target of sanctification again. The mark of a Christian is love for the brothers and sisters in the body. 1 John 4:7- Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and loves God. The most loving thing you can do for a believer is to encourage them in the means of sanctification. Not only is sanctification commanded, it’s part of the Christian’s identity.

Be aware of assumed motivations

Assuming motivations

Have you assumed someone’s motivation? Assuming motivations is common for Pastors, Biblical Counselors, Husbands, Wives, and ordinary Christians. From a personal standpoint, we need to assess our own motivations. Our heart is deceitful. The Psalmists proclaims in Psalm 139- “Search me o God and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” In addition, 1 Corinthians :13 says- “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” In other words, love perseveres and stays with the other person. Love believes the best about another person’s motives. Love believes believers are operating out of the best of intentions and are working for the Lord. In the words of Tim Challies- “It is sinful to assume bad motives. It is sinful to not assume good motives.”

Be aware of dismissing what the other person has to say

Sometimes we can be guilty of dismissing what the other person has to say because we are mad, angry, or frustrated with the other party even if they bring up scripture. Emotions become the primary center of control instead of what the Word of God says. This is indeed a very dangerous place to be. As we listen to what someone has to say, we need to make sure we are interpreting it accurately.

Confrontation

Along with encouragement comes confrontation. As we encourage others toward the means of sanctification, we rebuke and exhort in a loving manner that wants to see a changed life. Galatians 6:1- “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”

Good Biblical Counseling	Missing the Mark
Encouraging others to be in the Word, fellowship, prayer as a reflection of that individual’s identity in Christ, and commands in the Bible to pursue these things.	Discouraging others from pursuing the means of sanctification
Believing the Best about someone’s motives (1 Corinthians:13)	Assuming ill motives and intentions
Coming alongside and restoring for their benefit (Galatians 6:1/Philippians:2)	Having a motive to slander/gossip instead of edify and encourage
Gathering good data to get the whole story	Believing only one side of the story without getting the full picture
Self reflection that results in Humility, helping the other person, encouraging in the means of sanctification, pointing to the Word of God.	Pride that doesn’t want to help the other person. Counseling becomes about self, own emotions, etc.
Unifies	Divides and isolates
Hears what the other person has to say	Dismisses what the other person says
Edifies	Gossips/slanders
Rebukes in a gentle manner with the goal of helping them become more like Christ.	Rebukes in a harsh matter with ill motives. The goal isn’t to help the counselee.
Asks what made you do that? Tends to be less confrontational/assuming motives. Gets the point accross.	Uses why questions- tends to assume ill motives and puts counselee on the defensive.
Biblical counseling exposes but also edifies and lifts up	Biblical Counseling merely extends to exposing sin and immaturity

The Corinthian Church wasn’t acting the way they were supposed to, being involved in sexual immorality and even not believing in the resurrection correctly (1 Corinthians:15). But what does Paul call them? Saints. They missed the mark and needed correction on certain issues so that they could more fully conform to Christ and live out their identity. Thier practice wasn’t matching their identity but Pual lovingly confronted them and set them back on track.

What if my heart is not right? What should I do? If a believer has a heart that does things for the wrong motives, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t do what the Bible commands. It’s never right to sin doubly. Do the right thing, live out your identity in Christ, and repent of any heart motives. Only God can grant a heart of true repentance that wants to live for Him, His purposes, and His glory (1 Corinthians 10:31)

I have missed the mark when counseling others. I’ve seen others miss the mark when counseling others as well. People in the church need to live out their identity in Christ, pursue the means of sanctification, obey the commands of the Bible, assume Godly motivations, and counsel others for their benefit. Although simple, practically applied, we miss the mark. We are all Biblical Counselors in the church. As Biblical counselors, we need to reflect on our own hearts first, encourage others in the means of sanctification, and confront others in a gentle spirit that aims to restore and make someone more like Christ. This is the goal of Biblical Counseling. Is this how you Counsel?