Gift of Singleness


Single. Are you single? Do you desire a Spouse? These are all good desires. God given desires. However, our desires can overtake us to the point where the become idols. What should the perspective of a godly single be while waiting for a spouse?  Can we be happy being single? Why hasn’t God given me a wife? Why me? What’s wrong with me? You can be happy while single. In fact, I’d say that if you can’t be happy while single, it may be a red flag that you aren’t ready for marriage. Today I’m going to talk about how I think and act as a single to the glory of God.

Committing to Christ

As a single, I think the first thing we have to realize is that we are sinners! After all, what’s the first three letters in single? SIN. All kidding aside, singleness is a time to renew our thinking, check our hearts, and conform to Christ by committing to Christ. Committing to Christ, having union with Christ in us, and killing sin. As we pursue a life of obedience to Christ, we will be better prepared for marriage to serve our future wives well. What can we practically do to live as a Godly Single in the present age to the glory of God? What are the implications?

  1. Strive for Sanctification.
  2. Pray
  3. Read the Word; develop a reading plan
  4. Get disciple
  5. Go to church
  6. Serve in church
  7. make meaningful relationship
  8. get discipled
  9. Praise
  10. Establish Godly Patterns
  11. Put off Sin and Put on Christ.
  12. Always be ready to learn more
  13. Learn how to love. Love the people of God. Love Christ. Love the Church. Love His Word.

What are the implications of striving for these things?

The implications are astounding. As we pursue conformity to Christ, we conform in mind and deed. In thinking and action. We will start trusting in the promises of God and avoid worry. Start having True joy because we know we are saved. Because our fellowship with other Christians and our God is our foundation. There is an everlasting joy that is making us happy. If we can’t get this down as a single, how are we going to have joy within marriage? We need to practice being joyful as a single by the power of the Spirit. After all, joy is the second fruit mentioned in Galatians:5. Continually giving praise to God, and thanking God help with true Joy. I love reading Psalm 73 about the blessed man and trusting Him. Here is a brief list of how our conformity to Christ as we pursue him is impacted.

Conformity to Christ in Mind:

  1. True joy
  2. Trusting in his sovereignty and where he has you
  3. Fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, self Control.
  4. Thinking pure things (Philippians 4:8)
  5. A renewed mind resulting in a living sacrifice to God (Romans 12:2)

I love romans:12. It starts with Therefore. The first 11 chapters of Romans are doctrinal and theological. Then in Chapter 12, the Apostle Paul tells us how to live out this life based on the doctrinal truths we have learned.

Conformity to Christ  in Action

  1. A renewed mind that manifests itself in godly action (Romans 12:2)
  2. Service in the Church
  3. Thinking of others first and doing something about it
  4. Purity in mind, heart, and body
  5. Separated unto God as instruments for Him and His purposes

The list goes on. This is by no means an exhaustive list. The point is that we need to commit to Christ in mind and action. How can we commit to our future spouse if we can’t commit to Christ first? Christ is the foundation; the rock that holds the marriage together. Practicing committing to Christ as a single will make it so much easier to be a great spouse. Committing to Christ involves loving Christ. Obedience to Christ. Pursuing Him with all your heart. Things we can reflect in our marriage.

What Now? How guys can pursue

Ok so maybe you are pursuing Christ. Maybe you are a Godly Single. What can you do now? I would say be intentional. The Bible calls us to work hard in many aspects of life. I believe this includes pursuing a spouse if you are a guy. A Godly wife won’t just drop down while you are playing video games. Men are called to lead themselves, lead their wife, and lead their future family. As a single, men can lead themselves by pursuing purity, establishing Godly disciplines, and Christlikeness. Take the initiative and ask her face to face. Look for women who seem to be displaying Christ like attributes. Who trust God with all their hearts. A women of God is hard to find. Anyone can profess Christ. But finding someone who loves the Lord with all their heart and all their soul truly is hard to find. Expect to get rejected. Keep persevering. The wait is worth it.

What can girls do?

Maybe girls can’t directly ask but they can be available. They can make it easy for the godly guys to ask them. Rejection hurts. It’s painful every time. Girls can encourage godly guys they reject to ask again. You can reject a guy in a nice way. One day the guy will ask the girl they will marry. Encourage them for that day.

The response

It’s just a fact. Most guys I talk to say their rejection rate is through the roof. It can hurt. Feelings of rejection, unworthiness can pop up. Questions of will I ever get married? The Godly Response is to keep trusting God. Thanking him for what you have. Keep asking. And keep pursuing Christlikeness no matter what he provides. The Christian life is not a contingent faith. It’s a faith that pursues no matter what is provided. We have been provided with salvation and will be eternally thankful. Pray for the girls that reject you. Memorize 1 Timothy 5:2 and treat all sisters with all purity. God may never provide a wife. How will you respond? In anger? Your response will show you where your heart is and how thankful you are for what God has provided. I think the proper response is to be pursuing Christlikeness and faith no matter what, every day, till the end of my days. Living for the blessed hope we have been promised.

Titus 2:11

 For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

I’m single and I’d love a godly wife that can help us grow closer to God. At the same time, I have a blessed hope. And that’s all I need. I’ll always be eternally grateful. I’ll always be at church. I’ll always be serving. Because God is great. God saved me. And I have a transformed life. I am thankful.






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