Credits: John Piper and my own study
Well we live in a culture of passive men that don’t know what they want. A single dating culture that isn’t dating. We need more men that know their identity in Christ. That know what they should be pursuing. More men that have a goal, know how they are going to pursue it, and follow through. Namely sanctification, a spouse, and living for the Gospel while praying and trusting in God’s providence. These are good things that God has ordained. Here are some more posts I’ve written on singleness.
single’s perspective https://forhisglory.net/2018/07/01/gift-of-singleness/,
singleness in the church https://forhisglory.net/2022/10/12/why-arent-christian-singles-getting-married/, and healthy interactions in the church https://forhisglory.net/2024/05/22/how-are-we-to-interact-with-the-opposite-sex/.
Age Differences
However, in this post I want to change the topic to networking well to find a spouse.
Looking for a spouse can be looked down upon in the church. Finding a spouse is a good thing that can have a negative connotations. We are starting to call what is good evil and evil good. We are starting to take the ideology of the culture- That pursuing marriage is not good. That men shouldn’t be planning and making goals to find a spouse. The church is the context in which a spouse should be found. How should one go about finding a spouse? He who finds a wife finds a good thing. A good wife who can find? (Proverbs 18/Proverbs:31). In this short devotional, I’ll go over what one should be doing to find a spouse.
These are going to be short. I go much more in depth in the clickable posts above.
- Be a Godly person on fire for the Lord and the Gospel through being in the Word, serving others, loving others, edifying others.
- Have the right perspective of providence and singleness
- Check your heart and motives. (2 Corinthians 13:5)
- Live in light of eternity
- Make plans and goals to find a spouse.
- Qualified (Able to provide, elder attributes, etc)
- Serve in the church- Find someone that has the same heart for ministry that you do. To live for Christ and His Gospel.
After listening to a few sermons including John Pipers, I realized that there is another important one that I have never thought of before- Networking.
Let people in your inner circle know that you are trying to find someone. Let them know what you are looking for. Let some of the leaders you know so they can keep their eyes open for someone that might be a potential suitor. I’m by no means very good at this. It can be embarrassing, and I think there is wisdom in who you let know. Many marriages have come about through networking and conveying good desires so that singles can be on mission together for the Gospel. Some of us need people. God is sovereign and providential. At the same time, we are required to plan well, make goals, and trust God with the results. Pray with your brothers or sisters. Be dependent. Be the person that introduces others. It doesn’t have to be awkward. Set up a casual game night. And pray. Pray for a wife/husband. John Piper said he has prayed with many, many men and he can’t think of one that doesn’t have a wife right now. They networked. They prayed. They gave themselves to the church through service and love with the correct motive. And many found someone with the same heart and ministry for the Gospel. They represented the church as Christ loves the church. Live for the Gospel and see who is running with you. Whatever God provides, be the same person who is running well with the prize in sight.
The Singles Perspective-
Philippians 1:21 “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
1 Corinthians 9:23 “I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.”
Romans 14:23 “But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.”
Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
Romans 14:8 “For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.”
Colossians 3:3-4 “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”
2 Corinthians 5:14-15 “For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.”
Matthew 16:24-25 “Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.'”
Galatians 6:14 “But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.”
1 Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
1 Peter 4:11 “Whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
A life well Spent 